Integrating Family Finances
My husband and I are trying to correct our bad habit of not talking regularly about our finances. Most times we have the discussion we will get into a heated debate or two (or three or four). We both came together as very independent individuals from very different lifestyles and backgrounds. I was a divorced single mom of two boys and he had never been married. When he moved in, we pieced together our finances very slowly, and now 2.5 years after our daughter was born, we’re still trying to fully integrate them.
Aparigraha in Financial decisions.
You may be wondering what in the world this has to do with yoga. A yoga concept that we all need to practice is Aparigraha or non attachment. It is difficult to practice non attachment in family finance discussions when relationship struggles tend to be heightened/reflected. While debating and negotiating family finances, my husband and I both struggle to realize where we could better practice non attachment. We talk about how money spent will truly bring value to our lives. Ahh.. the subjectivity enters and suddenly we forget about practicing Aparigraha. We both believe in investing in life experiences, but don’t always see eye to eye. Or sometimes we do, but we’re too attached to different concepts of the same thing and suddenly we’re arguing on the direction to take. And of course this is not just about spending money on ourselves, but for our family as well. We get attached to getting our way, attached to being disgruntled about past finance decisions, attached to being right, attached to recreating a great vacation, attached to our dream of living at the beach, and attached to trying new experiences. It’s amazing how hard it is to not only practice non attachment, but actually recognize your attachments. One thing I know for sure is to stay present in family finance discussions and truly notice what you’re attached to. It may just allow room for concensual decision making.
How to practice Non Attachment and why
There is an ever present theme in practicing yoga to be present. Being present means just being here, not being attached to the past or the future. So that’s a difficult thing to comprehend when going over family budgets, but the best approach is to realize that everything is impermanent so focus on what works now. The good and the bad wont last forever. You’ll feel lighter and have more clarity when you can practice Aparigraha.